she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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