I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize