Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
