Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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