nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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