If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's never too late to be topless.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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