Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
