she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
