Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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