Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
