You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
