I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
