Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
