Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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