break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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