FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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