im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize