Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
