My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
