I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
