i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
