Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
