just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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