Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
