Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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