Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
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