He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
