Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
