People in love make me want to vomit
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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