I think i sorta joined a cult last night
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
