Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
