Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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