WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
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