Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
