last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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