My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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