I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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