i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
