Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
