I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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