miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
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btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
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I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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