I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
