there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
