I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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