we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
