I must be too annoying 4 u.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
they call him Oral-B. enough said
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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