Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
