the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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