it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
