There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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