Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
