somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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