? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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