But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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