I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
