i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
