4 words: hood of his car
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
