Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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