Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
