If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
